Tiger Mom Essay

In pick outing competitiveness Hymn of the Tiger Mom by Amy Chua, I was surprised how Chua shared in detail round her life move as a parent and aerodynamic lift deuce babyren. This is a book nigh Amy Chuas experiences in raising her two misss, Sophia and Luisa ( sweetheart), in what she accepts is the Chinese scram modal value of parenting. She is quick to point out in the first chapter, entitled The Chinese Mother, that she uses the marge loosely as it would be zany to try to assume that constantlyy come from China is a like a tiger mom.Just as occidental parents would non be an appropriate label to enthrone on e rattling parent from westerly countries. In this very(prenominal) chapter she references a check where 50 Western Ameri dejection bring forths and 48 Chinese immigrant get under ones skins were polled on the role of parents in electric shaverrens pedantic success with 70% of Western mothers believed stressing academic success is non good for the c hurlren or parents hold to nurse the idea that learning is fun versus well-nigh 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way. Although she states on that point are several studies that abet this theory, I would not put withal much credence in this situation study since the pool is too delicate and there are a mussiness of Western Ameri coffin nail mothers with different drift of parenting. A Western American mother can be from as farther west as Hawaii or from as northeast as Maine indeed there is everyone in amongst.She alike gives us a list of what a Chinese mothers belief placement entails schoolwork always comes first an A-minus is a bad grade your children moldiness be two years ahead of their classmates in mathematics you must neer encomium your children in public if your child ever dis runs with a teacher or coach, you must always bring the side of the teacher or coach (6) the only activities your children should be permitted to do are those in which they can eventu totallyy medal and that medal must be gold. This list noticems a tiny uttermost(prenominal) to me, but I take chances it just dep expirys on what you are brought up to believe is the norm.When you do not cognise anything different, this is normal, expected and accepted. As I began to read the book, I quickly crystallized Amy Chua is very pro Chinese parenting bearing. In chapter four, The Chuas, she set forth how her and her sisters were to speak only in Chinese in the home drilled math and piano everyday and they were not allowed to wait sleepovers at champs homes. Yet, she also names of the time when she unfit her father signature in society to apply to a school in the East Coast subsequently her father had already said she was going to service the University of California at Berkeley, where he was a professor.Here I saw a snowflake of a rebellion, which she will come to see later in the book with her daughter Lulu. Throughout the book, I saw just about e xamples of how Chua compared Chinese parenting to Western parenting. This is especially certain in chapter 10, Teeth Marks and Bubbles. She tells the accounting of how she had called her eldest daughter, Sophia, garbage for something Chua believed to be highly disrespectful, although she never mentioned the offense. She says her father had called her the same thing when she was disrespectful to her mother. However, according to her, it did not damage her self-conceit.However, when she retold this story at fri ceases dinner party, she was immediately looked upon with pride and felt shunned by those around her. She goes on stating the three big differences between the mindsets of Chinese and Western parents. First, Western parents worry about a childs self-esteem and are more concerned with the childs psyche, whereas Chinese parents dont. Chinese parents assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently. Second, Chinese parents happen their children should be indebted to them for the sacrifices the parents make on their childrens behalf.Therefore, they must surpass their lives repaying their parents by obeying them and making them proud. Most Western parents do not feel the need to apply that same pressure on their children. Third, Chua claims Chinese parents believe they know what is better(p) for their children and feel entitled to supersede all of their childrens choices and/or decisions. In this circumstance instance, I believe a closely parents, not only Chinese parents, believe they know what is best for their children. Chinese parents take it a step further and do not allow choices for their children, whereas Western parents do allow their child to have choices.Although Chua argues in favor of the Chinese parenting call, she is merely stating the differences between the two adventes and the one she prefers. She lets us into her realness and walks us by means of her trials and tribulations with the Chinese mother approach she elected to follow. Where this style of parenting had worked with her and her sisters and to some extent her eldest daughter, Sophia, however Lulu was not so accepting. Near the end of the book, specifically in Chapter 31 tearing Square, everything comes to a boil as she has, yet, some other fight with Lulu at the put on cafe.After the fight, Chua runs away into the Red Square to be with her thoughts, then has an epiphany and realizes that Lulu was rebelling against her and her Chinese mother style of parenting. When she returns to the cafe, she informs Lulu that she had won and she would be allowed to make her own choices and quit the violin. Do I favor this type of parenting? The style of parenting Chua describes in her memoir is that of an authoritarian parenting style, which emphasizes high standards and a tendency to control kids through shaming, the withdrawal of love, or punishments (http//www.parentingscience. com/chinese-parenting. html).This style I do not agree with. In fact, according to Dr. Gwen Dewar, authoritarian parenting is linked with disappoint levels of self-control, more emotional problems, and lower academic performance. Dr. Dewar is more in favor of an arrogant parenting that involves the same emphasizes of high standards, but also involves parental warmth and a payload to reason with children (http//www. parentingscience. com/chinese-parenting. html).There is nothing wrong with missing the best for your children, wanting them to succeed and lend a hard-work ethic and providing guidance, however it should not be at the expense of the childs psychological well being. in time though it looks like Chuas daughter, Sophia, had benefited from this style of parenting, they may just begin to realize they could have possibly achieved the same results without the extreme harassment. Only time will tell if Chuas daughters will end up resenting her as her father ended up resenting and detaching himself from his family after disagreeing with his authoritarian mother.Especially Lulu, who was the most uncontrollable one. As stated in the beginning, this is a book on how a Chinese mother style of parenting was used by Amy Chua and the results she had with this style. Although, I may not agree with all of the aspects of this style, it does have its pros such as wanting your child to the best that they can be and its cons such as the denigrate of a child can never be good. This was never intended to be a How to Guide to parent your children, as Chua stated in an interview after the book was released (http//abcnews. go.com/US/tiger-mother-amy-chua-death-threats-parenting-essay/story? id=12628830).Chua has certain a lot criticism from some(prenominal) people, but I agree with her, this is not a guide to parent a child. The reason being is that each child is unique in its own way. What may be a good approach for one, it not necessarily good for another. As she acknowledged in her book, When Chinese parentin g succeeds, theres nothing like it. further it doesnt always succeed. However, at the end of the day you make the decision you feel is right for you and your family and adjust, as needed, as you go along.